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The literal physical answer is an almost unequivocal no. You'd have to use something a whole lot stronger than a vibrator to easily, inadvertently damage the nerves in your clit or anyone else's. Maybe a jackhammer. And you'd have to use it for a long, long time. Nerves are pretty sturdy. Creating a permanent neuropathy due to overuse takes quite a while...and would probably require a conscious effort, honestly, given that most of us don't sit around with a buzzing vibrator (or anything else, I hope) duct-taped to our clits 24/7. You certainly can overstimulate nerves and produce temporary numbness, which is true of any touch-receptive nerves anywhere in the body. If you start to numb out, just hold back a bit, and/or change tactics. Just FYI, this kind of overstimulation can happen without a vibrator, too... one of my former girlfriends would get to that point very quickly with oral sex, and a tongue is a lot softer and less relentless than any motorized appliance. That particular girlfriend's clit was simply very sensitive, and had a low threshhold for being overstimulated. So it goes. I had to recalibrate the ways I had learned to touch and tease, but that's not exactly the end of the world, and if this sort of thing happens to you, you can certainly do the same. We're fortunate that we have so many options -- fingers, vibrators, toys, lube, water, other people's tongues and genitals --when it comes to touching and pleasuring ourselves. Revel in the variety. As for whether or not one can become psychologically dependent on a vibrator, the answer is -- sometimes -- yes. I wouldn't call it an "addiction," as some people do, because there's no physiological dependency. But people can get into ruts with masturbation and partner sex just like they do with anything else, and become habituated to certain kinds of stimulation, and to having things done in exactly this way at exactly that angle and so on. If a particular act or type of stimulation has always reliably toasted someone's personal Pop-Tarts in the past, they may become convinced that it's the only thing that can. Vibrators can be particularly insidious where this is concerned because using a vibrator doesn't require any more committment than turning the little meister on. You don't really have to be aroused, you don't really have to do much, you just have to press the vibrator on the relevant Naughty Bits™ and it provides totally predictable stimulation for as long as you leave it on (or until the batteries run out, whichever comes first-- get a plug-in model if you don't want to have to worry about that). This is both wonderful -- orgasms on demand, hooray! -- and potentially problematic, because that kind of dependability means that it's all the easier to become used to being able to get off with little to no investment on your part. It's an easy high. It becomes easy to check out, mentally and psychologically, and let the vibe do all the work. I liken this to the idea of going to the store and buying some prepared, microwave-ready dinner, and being able to pop it into the nuker and three minutes later, dinner is on the table without you having to put any thought or effort into it. Even when it comes to things they like and acts they enjoy, people have a tendency to get laaaaaaaaaazy in the name of convenience. But just as it's still possible for our microwave-dinner-eater to haul out the pots and pans and cook from scratch, it's also still possible for someone who is partial to the ease of the "convenience orgasm" to have and enjoy other kinds of sex and orgasms. They just require more time investment, forethought, attention, and effort, just like baking a cake from scratch requires more of those things than buying one at the bakery. And this is why it's a good idea, if you're a vibrator user and you want to avoid becoming habituated in a bad way to your vibrator(s), to do two things: 1) Pay attention to your own arousal, and make your genuine psychological and physical arousal a consistent part of your sexual activity with the vibrator. When your brain and your body are both in tune with what's going on with you sexually, brain-arousal stays linked to the crotch-arousal part of the program. This helps stave off the lazy "I think I'll just press this button and tune out and get off" mode of vibrator use that can lead to your getting into a rut you have difficulty getting out of. 2) Remember that variety is the spice of life, and do other stuff than just using your vibrator. Partnered sex of various sorts, masturbating with fingers or water or whatever you like that's not a vibrator, fantasies, etc. will all help assure that when you add a vibrator to your repertoire, you're not shutting out other possibilities. So the ultimate answer to whether or not a person can or will become habituated to using a vibrator is "maybe." Maybe you'll find that you're becoming habituated to your vibrator, maybe you won't. Physically it's impossible, in the sense of true physiological dependency such as people develop for drugs like alcohol, nicotine, or cocaine, but psychologically it isn't. Should you find yourself falling into that "convenience orgasm" rut despite your best intentions, however, rest assured that it's reasonably easy to cure. Just throw the damned vibrator into your sock drawer for a few months and re-acquaint yourself with how to enjoy yourself without it. It won't hurt you -- well, not as long as you clip those fingernails first. It may take a little getting used to doing it the old-fashioned way, but you will find that yes indeed, everything still works as advertised, and that at least in one area of our increasingly machine-driven lives, you have not backed yourself into a corner of gadget dependence. Now, if it were only so easy to break one's dependence on e-mail... |
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12.07.06: Scarlet Letters -- in case it isn't glaringly obvious -- is currently
on an extended hiatus. The web has changed, we've changed, and
we're trying to figure out how we both fit together now, which isn't a process we want to rush. If you're looking for more current SL-related content, you can
have check out upcoming books from editor Heather Corinna and previous co-editor Hanne Blank, check out Heather's current sexuality sites, or explore sites through the femmerotic network. We hope to be back with you soon, as fresh, challenging and
unexpected as ever.
In the meantime, by all means, enjoy our years of past content,
all of which still remain in the public and subscription areas.
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